Getting Through the Holidays After a Divorce


If this is your first holiday season after your divorce, you might have some reservations about celebrating this festive time of year. However, just because you recently endured an emotionally taxing experience does not mean you cannot enjoy yourself. Consider this a chance to create new traditions with your children and remember to be patient with yourself. Although many often feel the pressure to have a perfect holiday season, you do not have to yield to these pressures. Instead, give yourself time to breathe and do what feels right.

Navigating the Holiday Season

Ultimately, the holidays are about spending time with your friends and family. If you cannot see your children on a specific day due to the holiday parenting schedule, it does not mean you cannot share the holidays with them at all. You will still see them on another day and have other opportunities to bask in winter fun with them.

When your co-parent has the children, find other ways to spend your time. If you need time to recharge, take a moment to yourself. Grab a book and some hot chocolate or a good bottle of wine. If you are craving a more social activity, reach out to your friends or other family members and spend some quality time together.

Here are some more tips that will get you through the holiday season:

  1. Coordinate your gifts: A big part of the holiday season involves purchasing gifts for your loved ones. Although you and your co-parent might feel tempted to outdo each other in this arena, it will not help the situation. Reduce the tension gift-giving can bring by coordinating the gifts you plan to buy for your children with your ex-spouse. Doing so will ensure your children receive age-appropriate gifts and that nothing is too excessive. Moreover, it will eliminate the possibility of buying duplicate gifts.
  1. Do not fixate on the gifts: Although it is wise to coordinate your gifts to avoid unnecessary conflicts, remember that the holiday season is about more than presents. Divorce can put a strain on one’s finances, so if your buying power took a hit, try not to worry about it. What matters most are the memories you create and the time you spend together.
  1. Do not feel guilty: Yes, this holiday season is unlike any other you spent with your children, but you do not have to feel guilty about it. Instead of focusing on the past and feeling guilty about the present, focus more on thinking up new ways to enjoy the time you have with your children.
  1. Be kind to yourself: Remember to take a moment to breathe and do something good for yourself. Take care of your health, eat right, get plenty of sleep and, if you can, get yourself a gift. Feel comfortable with celebrating yourself.

Contact an Experienced Family Law Attorney Today!

The holidays can present some unique problems for recently divorced parents. In some cases, you might need the assistance of a knowledgeable legal professional to effectively address these issues. At the Law Offices of Jeffrey S. Graff, our family law team will provide the advice and guidance you need during this difficult time.

Contact us today at (805) 633-4999 to set up a free consultation.

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