Talking to Your Kids About Your Divorce: Helpful Tips

Talking to your children, especially when they are particularly young, can be incredibly difficult. No parent wants to see their children suffer or in pain, but it is also important to be honest with them and to let them know that their family will soon endure many changes. That said, parents must try their best to handle this situation as delicately as possible to minimize the impact this life-altering event has on them.

Here is a list of tips that will help you effectively handle this situation with the care and attention it deserves:

  • Choose an appropriate time: If you and your spouse are still only talking about the prospect of a divorce, but have yet to make a solid decision, this is not the time to tell your children about the divorce. If you end up deciding to work on your marriage, having a premature conversation about divorce will only scare your children and give them unnecessary anxiety. Only once you and your spouse have made a solid decision should you inform your children. Moreover, plan to have this conversation at a time when they will be able to ask you questions and thoroughly process the information you have given them. Do not tell them right before bedtime or while you are driving them to school. It might be easier for you to rush through it, but it is the worst possible way for them to receive this information.
  • Have this conversation as a team: You are probably not on the best of terms with your spouse, but it is important for the two of you to approach this sensitive topic with your children as a team. You need them to understand that the divorce was a joint decision and that, despite these changes, you will both still always love them and be there for them. Whatever you do, avoid pointing fingers at one another. The last thing your children need to see is the two of you trying to blame the divorce on one another.
  • Spare them the details: Your children do not need to know the details of your divorce and what drove you toward this decision. All they need to know is that it was an adult decision that they could not have influenced. Additionally, as you move forward with the process, you should also avoid leaving your divorce papers where they can easily access and read them.
  • Be ready for anything: Children do not all react in the same way, so you should be prepared for all reactions. They might be upset, sad, or they might not react at all initially. You should also continue to observe their behavior and be on the lookout for anything unusual, such as attention-seeking habits or depression and isolation. Be prepared to have more conversations about the divorce to address any anxiety or insecurity they might feel regarding the future.

Schedule a Consultation with an Experienced Divorce Attorney Today!

If you cannot continue to make your marriage work and are considering a divorce, reach out to the team at the Law Offices of Jeffrey S. Graff for the skilled legal assistance you deserve during this difficult time.

Contact our law office today at (805) 633-4999 to request a confidential case review with our experienced divorce attorney.

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