Learning How to Co-Parent with Your Former Spouse

If you and your former spouse have children, you will not have the luxury of cutting off contact with one another after your divorce is finalized. Instead, you must learn to work together to raise your children in a consistent and stable environment. For many, co-parenting after a divorce is a difficult challenge, but it is necessary for your children’s overall happiness and wellbeing.

Setting Aside the Past to Build a Better Future

The relationship you have with your former spouse in the aftermath of a divorce should focus exclusively on your children, so you must learn to aside the issues that ultimately led to your divorce. Doing so will allow you to work toward creating a cooperative co-parenting relationship. If you focus on the past, these issues will continue to arise, creating obstacles in your ability to effectively co-parent your children and ensure their needs are met.

Try to think of your co-parenting relationship as a professional relationship. We might not always get along with all of our co-workers, but we often set aside these differences to get the job done.

Here are some additional tips to help you co-parent with your ex-spouse:

  1. Do not vent to your children: We all do a little venting now and then, but you should remember not to vent about your co-parent in front of your children. An angry rant can veer into dangerous territory and, regardless of your true intentions, your words might make your kids feel guilty about spending time with their other parent. Unless your co-parent poses a risk to the health and safety of your children, you should both support one another as parents and never put your children in the middle of any of your disputes.
  1. Become effective communicators: If you and your co-parent tend to argue when you communicate through phone calls, find another method. In many cases, the method co-parents use for communication can have a substantial impact on their ability to reduce conflicts, so reexamine how you choose to communicate and learn what works best for you. Whenever you communicate, remember to keep the topic child-related. Personal matters unrelated to your children might take you down a rocky path.
  1. Remember to work as a team: You might not like your ex-spouse right now, but you are still a team and should try to function as one when it comes to raising your children and making important decisions on their behalf. Part of this also involves creating consistent rules between both households. If one parent becomes the authority figure while the other has all the fun, it will create some serious problems and dysfunction.
  1. Learn to compromise: It is unrealistic to assume you and your co-parent will never disagree no matter how much your relationship improves. Being an effective co-parent does not mean you will agree at all times, but rather you will learn how to compromise and work together.

Schedule a Consultation with a Skilled Family Law Attorney!

At the Law Offices of Jeffrey S. Graff, our family law attorney has the knowledge and experience to help you navigate the most complex family law matters, including those pertaining to child custody. Our team will work diligently to protect your interests and achieve your goals.

Contact us today at (805) 633-4999 to request a consultation.

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