Common Mistakes During Divorce


Divorce is often an incredibly stressful process, especially when the parties involved are. Frequently, parties in a divorce may feel the urge to make hasty decisions because they just "want to get the divorce over with" and regain their freedom.

Understanding common mistakes during the divorce process can help you approach your divorce more rationally and achieve a positive outcome. So, without further ado, here are some common mistakes during divorce that you should avoid.

Mistake #1: Giving in to Your Emotions

For most people, divorce is highly emotional. If your ex conducted themselves poorly (committing adultery, engaging in verbal abuse, etc.) during the marriage, you might feel the urge to release those emotions in court or try to "get back" at your ex.

It's crucial to rely on your attorney and focus on approaching the divorce as rationally as possible. It may feel good to post on Facebook about how your ex is a narcissist who only cares about themself, but the court will look on such actions poorly. Try and remain calm throughout the process, at least outwardly. If your emotions are getting the better of you, don't be afraid to seek an outlet in the form of therapy or another activity that acts as an emotional release for you (a new sport or hobby, etc.).

Mistake #2: Making Rash Decisions Based on Finances

Rushing through elements of the divorce process such as property division or spousal support matters can negatively impact your financial future. Trust your attorney's advice, and consider investing in a professional such as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) who specializes in valuing assets to help you understand what you can expect from the property division process.

Additionally, don't forget to account for taxes when considering how the divorce will impact you financially. For example, if you own a home office and sell the marital home, you may have to pay significant taxes on that home office that you were exempt from paying in prior years. Make sure you work with an experienced attorney to understand the financial ramifications of the divorce fully.

Mistake #3: Refusing to Compromise

Even if the thought of compromising with your ex makes you nauseous, don't discount the value of mediation in the divorce process. Courts look upon individuals who try and negotiate mutually beneficial arrangements with their soon-to-be-ex favorably, which can come in handy throughout the divorce. For example, if your and your ex share children and you try to compromise on a parenting plan, but your ex refuses, the court may give you a more favorable custody arrangement.

Worst-case scenario, your ex refuses to negotiate with you and you gain esteem in the eys of the court. Best-case scenario, all parties emerge from the divorce with a favorable judgment. Compromising may be difficult in the short term, but it can pay off in spades down the road.

I have spent more than three decades helping clients navigate the divorce process. To arrange a consultation with my office, contact me online or via phone at (805) 633-4999.

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