There’s no doubt about it – when their parents decide to divorce, it is a time of immense change and life upheaval for children. As the parent, it is up to you to create consistency and predictability in their lives, which can ease their fears in the aftermath of your split. Being that you and your ex now live under two different rooves, though, it can be difficult to achieve without collaboration and compromise. While working out difficult subjects with your ex may be the last thing you want to do, it’s important to do so to create a set of consistent rules and routines so your children feel more secure.
What Is Consistent Co-Parenting?
Now that you are your ex are split, you no longer have to work at nurturing your romantic relationship, but you do have to find a middle ground in effective co-parenting. For example, if mom allows unlimited time on the iPad and dad has strict limits, this can create a rift between the two separate households and unnecessary animosity between you and your ex. Likewise, what if mom is a stickler for her children brushing their teeth before bedtime, while dad would rather endure the nightly battle and give in? These issues also create a burden for the child, who may unwittingly begin to favor the more lenient parent over the other.
So, what can you do?
Establishing consistent co-parenting means setting up predictable routines, rules, and rewards for your children that are the same both at mom and dad’s houses. Some of the questions to consider discussing with your former spouse include:
- Determining consequences for breaking household rules, such as breaking curfew
- Giving rewards for good behavior, like an excellent report card from school
- Deciding whether one parent should handle specific issues, such as school drop-off
- Communicating the rules and routines to your children, especially as you adjust them over time
- Seeking alignment on the possible downfalls and benefits of your approach to raising your children
Consult with Our Knowledgeable Family Law Attorneys to Discuss Your Case
Every couple faces unique obstacles when it comes to how to handle childrearing in the aftermath of their divorce. If you are at an impasse where you can’t resolve them amicably as co-parents, the next step is to reach out to a skilled family law attorney to help you. At the Law Offices of Jeffrey S. Graff, our experienced lawyers are committed to handling these often complex and sensitive cases to achieve favorable outcomes on your behalf. Ultimately, we want what you want: what’s in the best interest for your children’s wellbeing.
Contact us today at (805) 633-4999 to set up a consultation and discuss the details of your case with a member of our legal team.