Helping Your Children Cope with Divorce


Divorce is often a surprise for many children. Even if you and your spouse fought a lot during your marriage, the realization that their parents will no longer be together and that their lives will substantially change will come as a huge shock for them. As parents, this is a lot you can do for your children to not only help them cope with the news, but to also help them adjust in the aftermath of your split.

Being There for Your Children

Kids may grieve the end of their parent’s marriage much like any other loss. They will miss their old life and the family they once had, even if you and your spouse frequently fought. Change is a scary thing, so you will have to help them see that, despite the changes your family has undergone, you are still a family and you both still love them.

Here are some ways for you to help them cope:

  • Encourage them to honestly talk about their feelings. Your children need to know that how they feel is important and valid to you, so take them seriously and listen to them, even when it is hard to hear.
  • Support them, but try not to be too overbearing. Ask them what might help them feel better and offer suggestions. If they need alone time, be willing to give them that space.
  • Honesty is a good policy, but you should still try to keep the details of what went wrong in your marriage in check. Providing these details may influence how your children feel about their other parent, doing them more harm than good.
  • Seek help for yourself by hiring a therapist or reaching out to a close friend. If you have a healthy outlet where you can talk about your feelings, it will make it less likely for you to divulge any of the angry feelings you may have towards your ex.
  • Collaborate with your former spouse on the rules and routines you wish to establish in both households. Consistency will help your children feel more safe, secure, and less anxious about the future.

Discuss Your Family Law Case with Our Experienced Attorney Today!

If you are in the middle of a family law dispute, the knowledgeable attorney at the Law Offices of Jeffrey S. Graff can provide the skilled advice and representation you need to get through it. Our attorney has more than 35 years of experience and a history of successful results, so you can feel confident in securing the best possible results for your case.

Reach out to our law office today at (805) 633-4999 to request a case review to learn more about your legal options.

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