Tips for Communicating with Your Ex-Spouse


Communication is a key element in any relationship and, if you have children with your former spouse, it will be essential in your ability to successfully co-parent as you move forward. However, if you had a difficult divorce, you may have some trouble setting the past aside, so you can effectively communicate. We compiled a list of tips that may help you overcome these obstacles.

How to Communicate with Your Former Spouse

Becoming a better communicator will not only reduce conflict and tension with your co-parent, but it will also benefit your children, and help create a less tense environment for them to thrive in.

Here are some tips to help you communicate with your ex-spouse:

  • Choose your battles wisely: You probably have a lot of opinions and a lot to say to your former spouse, but that does not mean you should voice each one. Try to focus only on the issues that matter and be willing to let go of other minor concerns.
  • Use “I” Statements: When talking to your former spouse, try to incorporate the word “I” into your statements to personalize your message. Doing so will make your statements sound less accusatory, which means your ex-spouse may feel more willing to communicate with you.
  • Be an active listener: Hearing and understanding are two different concepts. You may hear a person speak perfectly well, but listening without hearing is often worthless and can result in some serious misunderstandings.
  • Be courteous to your former spouse: Your marriage may be over, but you will both continue to be in each other’s lives, so try to extend some empathy and courtesy to one another. You do not have to become best friends, but respect can go a long way in a co-parenting relationship.

Schedule a Free Case Evaluation with an Experienced Attorney to Get Started Today!

Whether you are still in the middle of the divorce process or dealing with a post-divorce legal matter, the family law team at the Law Offices of Jeffrey S. Graff can provide the knowledgeable representation you need to get through it. Backed by more than 35 years of experience and a proven history of results, you can rest assured your family law case is in good hands with us.

Reach out to our law firm today at (805) 633-4999 to request a free initial case review with our experienced attorney to get started on your case and learn more about what we can do for you.

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