Children thrive on consistency, especially when life gets chaotic. More than ever, in the aftermath of a divorce, you will need to create consistent household rules for your children to follow in both households. These rules and routines will help reduce your children’s anxiety and give them a sense of security.
As parents, it is your job to set your differences aside to enforce consistent rules in both households to provide some much-needed structure in their lives. That said, this may be easier said than done if you and your former spouse have a contentious relationship. Continue reading for some tips on how to collaborate on this task together.
Working with Your Ex to Create Stability for Your Children
Morning routines, after-school routines, and nighttime routines are all important, especially for younger children. A consistent bedtime is particularly important since sleep is where children process memories, grow, and problem solve. If you and your co-parent run your respective households so differently that your children lack consistency during this crucial time, it can harm them in the long run.
Here are some questions you and your former spouse can ask each other to get started on establishing consistent household rules and routines for your kids:
- What is your position on certain key matters?
- What sort of consequences will you enforce if they fail to comply with the rules?
- How will you reward your children for good behavior?
- Are there any issues on which you are willing to be flexible?
- Are there any issues on which you are unwilling to be flexible?
- How do you plan to tell your children about these rules?
- Will one parent be responsible for particular matters?
- Do you foresee any issues with your approach?
- What are the benefits of your chosen approach?
Consistent rules and routines are not only essential for your children’s overall well-being, but they can also reduce conflict with your former spouse, so you can more effectively co-parent your children together.
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If you are dealing with a family law matter that requires legal guidance, the legal team at the Law Offices of Jeffrey S. Graff can provide the help you need. With more than 35 years of experience on our side and a history of successful results, you can feel confident in our ability to serve you.
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